10 Ways to Support your Teen Athlete's Mental Health
Research shows that anxiety and depression affect about 34% of current and 26% of former elite athletes. 35% of elite athletes suffer a mental health crisis, which may look like stress, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, or drug use. Adding an injury that prevents them from competing for a period of time (or takes them out of the game permanently) can also lead to anxiety and depression.
However, putting things in place to prioritize mental health can improve an athlete's performance and every area of their life.
We make sure they eat healthy, stretch, train, drink enough water, take their vitamins, and do everything else to take care of their physical body.
But what can we, parents of teen athletes, do to ensure they have all the support they need for their mental health?
Establish healthy boundaries. This applies to every area of their life. Many adults haven't yet learned when to stop or say no to things and choose their mental health. Teach your kids when to slow down, when to say no, and when to quit something altogether.
2. Mental health days. Not going to school when you are physically sick is common. But what about taking a break when you need a mental health day? Though we use these infrequently, we have allowed our kids to take a day after a particularly busy or overwhelming week. They rest, they rejuvenate, and they return to school and sports better and know their parents prioritize their mental health as much as their physical health.
3. They are more than their sports. Sure, they are highly talented at whatever sport they play. But they are so much more than their physical talent. They contribute more to the world than just being fast, blocking well, or shooting three-pointers. When we emphasize their kindness, incredible empathy, or ability to make people laugh, we highlight the things that last. Things that are not linked to how well they perform.
4. Quitting is for winners. I found one of my favorite quotes from Steven Bartlett via Twitter. He tweeted, "Contrary to popular opinion, quitting is for winners. Knowing when to quit, change direction, leave a toxic situation, demand more from life, give up on something that wasn't working and move on is an essential skill that people who win at life all seem to have." Now, I am not saying everyone should quit. Our kids are built to play, built to compete. But just because someone has been doing something their whole life (or whole childhood) doesn't mean they have to do it forever. Especially if it's no longer mentally healthy for them.
5. Set realistic expectations. Winning every game, completing every pass, and scoring every goal are unrealistic. Even trying their best at every game and practice is unrealistic. Do we, as adults, try our very best every day? I am okay with admitting my very best doesn't happen every single day, so why should I expect that of my 14-year-old?
6. Normalize your own mental health. We are the example to our kids about how to manage mental health. When our kids see us neglecting it, we make that the norm. But when they see us getting the help we need and practicing self-care, they are more likely to incorporate those habits into their own lives.
7. Love unconditionally. We want our kids to succeed in everything they do. But whether they are the star athlete or an encourager who plays less than half the time, our kids need to know that our love or approval doesn't rest in their performance.
8. Normalize rest. Injury can occur when we push our bodies too far. And when athletes are injured, they are more likely to experience anxiety and depression. To prevent this, encouraging (or demanding) rest is essential. But if you have set a precedent to listen to your body and to rest when your body needs it, getting your kid to rest when they need it should become easier.
9. Mental Health Check-Ins. There was a particularly rough period for one of our kids. During that time, we established mental health check-ins. Of course, we didn't call it this because our kid would refuse to participate. But my husband and I set aside time to check in with our kids, see how things are going, and make it a safe place to vent or talk about whatever they want. And best part, our kid seems to actually like this two on one time (which can be tricky with 4 kids at home but we make this time a priority).
10. Be aware of community mental health resources. Learn what resources your kid's school or team has available. If they don't have anything, ask them to consider putting resources in place, so all families can easily find what fits their needs best.
Being an athlete has many benefits: health, learning to work as a team, discipline, hard work, resiliency, and so much more. It can come with a cost to our kid's mental health. But by implementing these ways to support them, it doesn't have to.
